Prince George couple Tess Healy and Wendy Young celebrated a significant milestone this year.
Not only was 2023 their 20th wedding anniversary, but it marks 20 years since they became one of the eight British Columbia couples who pursued the same sex-marriage lawsuit that went to the Supreme Court and won in 2003.
This lawsuit also paved the way for the national legalization of same-sex marriage in 2005.
Their love story
Healy and Young’s love story started when they met at a Prince George Cougars hockey game. However, Young was in another relationship at the time so the two wouldn’t really connect until a few weeks later when Young and her then-girlfriend had broken up.
“We ended up talking over the phone and over email and I felt okay about that and then there was going to be a dance and I said well maybe you’ll have a dance with me at the gay dance?” said Healy.
After the dance, they started seriously dating and despite some friends taking bets that they wouldn’t make it they moved in together about a year later.
They bought the house that they would end up living in together for the next 23 years.
In 2001, they decided to have a commitment ceremony because at the time gay and lesbian couples couldn’t get married.
“We wanted to have that public affirmation of community and family gathering to witness our union,” said Healy.
At the same time, Gala, a Prince George LGBTQ organization, asked Healy and Young if they wanted to be one of the couples from across the country to be part of a human rights case on same-sex marriage rights.
They had to write essays and were even interviewed for the case on the night of their commitment ceremony, which they held in their backyard with over 100 guests in attendance.
“Those essays we wrote became affidavits. We had to go down and try and get a marriage certificate and be turned down and that was the basis for the case,” explained Young.
“Two years later we won and we hadn’t expected to win that quickly. We thought this would be five to seven years.”
At the time, Stephen Harper was running for Prime Minister and Healy said there were a lot of conservative rumblings about rolling back the case so they decided to get legally married before they had the opportunity to take it back.
“We were the parade marshals for the pride parade that year and we said 'well, how do you feel about us getting married in the park? As part of the festivities?'” said Young.
The Pride Parade ended at Lheidli T’enneh Memorial Park and that is where they got married. One of the drag queens serenaded them and Peter Zimmer, who was the pastor at the St. Michael and All Angels' Anglican Church at the time, officiated.
“He actually said, ‘I've been asked here to do the blessing and what I'm here to say is, this is your blessing’ and he pointed to all of the people in the crowd, which brought cheers and applause,” said Healy.
Zimmer also officiated their 20-year vow renewal ceremony, which they celebrated this past August.
20 years of legal marriage
“I can't believe it’s been 20 years of legal marriage,” said Healy. “The big thing is that there are young gays, lesbians, trans queer youth growing up, who've never known Canada differently.”
Healy and Young said they were surprised at how quickly the culture changed to accept same-sex marriage.
“I thought at some point, you will have gay and lesbian weddings and there will be people who will be happy,” said Healy.
“Maybe their favourite uncle is marrying his boyfriend. But I thought that wouldn't be in my lifetime. I thought it would be a generation or two before that would happen and it was very quick.”
Healy and Young said they realized it was important for them to be visible as a healthy, happy lesbian couple which they said opened up a lot of opportunities to make change happen.
They reflected on two significant moments that happened to each of them in the span of 10 days.
Young said she was on a flight and one of the flight attendants recognized her from the media coverage of the case and thanked her because her niece had come out to the family by showing them a newspaper article of Wendy and Tess and said, “this is me."
At the same time, Healy was facilitating a workshop when a woman came up to her at the break and said that her daughter had been having suicidal thoughts.
The daughter had taken the front page of the newspaper with Healy and Young’s article to her mother to explain why she was struggling.
“Now she is happy and healthy and her mom knew that she was going to be able to keep her kid alive instead of having to organize a funeral,” said Healy.
Rise in homophobia
Healy said she feels like every generation has its battles and same-sex marriage was the battle of her generation but for the next generation it's transphobia.
In September of this year, Healy Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity (SOGI) education gathering when an anti-SOGI protester with a sign stood in front of her shouting his viewpoints.
However, people in the crowd converged on Healy to form a protective shield using their pro-SOGI signs and a rainbow-coloured umbrella to block out the man’s sign.
“I've been having sort of these feelings of fear that I haven't had for decades,” said Healy, with Young adding “There’s a nastiness that’s crept in.”
Healy said she had been nervous to speak at the protest because she was fearful that something would happen.
“What happened at that protest, we walked away all of us feeling closer and unified and we conquered something together. It was the most amazing feeling,” she said.
“I hate that we're having to be here again. But we're here again and we will do what we did the first time around, which is be strong and be proud.”
Healy reflected that when they decided to join the court case they joked that they could be a footnote in history but didn’t really recognize the significance of it because they were busy living their lives.
“We were lucky when we found each other and I think we've got a really good life,” she said.
“It's gone by really fast and I do think that same-sex marriage case, in a way, becomes a bookend to measure the changes that have come by since. I think that's a big thing for me.”
