If you always thought your garden-variety heist movies could do with a bit more blood-sucking vampire, have we got a flick for you.
featuring a 12-year-old tutu-wearing member of the undead, is way better than it should be, a gleeful genre-smashing romp through puddles of gore.
Directors Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett and producer Chad Villella 鈥 part of Radio Silence Productions 鈥 have cracked the modern horror code with such hits as 鈥淪cream鈥 and They do not disappoint with 鈥淎产颈驳补颈濒,鈥 even perhaps opening a new, bloody revenue stream. (And wait for the phone call scene, a nod to 鈥淪cream.鈥)
鈥淎bigail鈥 starts with an odd assortment of mercenaries 鈥 played by 鈥淪cream鈥 veteran 鈥淒ownton Abbey鈥 star Kathryn Newton, Kevin Durand, William Catlett and the late .
The six 鈥 representing the muscle, sniper, computer expert, getaway driver, medic etc 鈥 are hired to kidnap a rich preteen (nicknamed "Tiny Dancer") and hold her for ransom. The rules are: No names. No backstory. No grabass, which is a weird request, if we're being honest. All this group needs to do is detain the target for 24 hours until rich dad pays $50 million in ransom.
Why are six professional underworld characters needed to snatch and detain a sweet preteen, still wearing her tutu? That's easy: Not all of them are going to survive to claim their share of $7 million. That's because Abigail (Alisha Weir, awesome, stay away from me, no seriously) is really into, well, neckwork.
鈥淚'm sorry about what's going to happen to you,鈥 Abigail sweetly tells the kidnappers. We have some idea 鈥 and it's going to be great. Suddenly, the rambling estate they're holding her becomes a prison. The tables are turned.
The script written by Stephen Shields (鈥淭he Hole in the Ground鈥) and regular Radio Silence collaborator Guy Busick (鈥淩eady or Not鈥 and the 鈥淪cream鈥 movies) 鈥 gleefully mines humor in the horror. Laughing a moment after a body fully explodes is normal here.
鈥淭his whole thing is a trip,鈥 says one of the gang. Believe them. 鈥淪omething doesn't add up,鈥 says another. Believe that guy, too.
Garlic, sunlight, spears and crucifixes are employed to try to stop Abigail, who has hijacked the heist movie and turned it into a run-for-your-life thriller. She's a very smart 12-year-old who turns hardened mercenaries against each other.
Barrera, who had been so central to the life of the 鈥淪cream鈥 franchise, shows why she's so good at horror 鈥 funny, sarcastic, vulnerable, athletic, soulful and very convincing with a stake in her hand.
Stevens, who famously left the aristocratic for better roles, may wonder what he's doing here now, bathed in blood fighting a preteen vampire, but does an admirable job, definitely in on the camp.
But it's Weir in the titular role who carries it, doing pirouettes and leaps as she chases the bad-guys-now-good guys to the theme of 鈥淪wan Lake鈥 with blood dripping down her throat, rotten teeth and feathers in her hair. 鈥淚 like to play with my food,鈥 she says.
Run faster!
鈥淎产颈驳补颈濒,鈥 a Universal Pictures release that hits theaters Friday, is rated R for 鈥渟trong bloody violence and gore throughout, pervasive language and brief drug use.鈥 Running time: 110 minutes. Three stars out of four.
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MPAA definition of R: Restricted. Under 17 requires accompanying parent or adult guardian.
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Mark Kennedy is at
Mark Kennedy, The Associated Press