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Are you catching holiday blues instead of cheer? Here are some ways to find peace

Bells are ringing. Snow is glistening. But you鈥檙e bummed out. You could be suffering from a case of the holiday blues, which experts say is not uncommon. A strained relationship with family, for example, can make this time of year pretty lonely.
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A person views lights in front of the New York skyline at The Shops at Columbus Circle, Thursday, Dec. 12, 2024, in New York. (AP Photo/Julia Demaree Nikhinson)

Bells are ringing. Snow is glistening. But you鈥檙e bummed out.

You could be suffering from a case of the holiday blues, which experts say is not uncommon.

A strained relationship with family, for example, can make this time of year pretty lonely. The holidays are expensive, and financial woes can cause major stress. can fuel depression and .

鈥淎 lot of people at certain years can find the holidays to be more challenging than they have experienced in past years,鈥 said Shilagh Mirgain, a psychologist at UW Health in Madison, Wisconsin. 鈥淚t鈥檚 important to recognize the common humanity that others, too, are struggling.

"You鈥檙e not alone.鈥

Here鈥檚 what experts say you can do to make your holiday season a little more bearable, if not cheery.

If family time isn't super fun, set boundaries

Spending an extended amount of time with family is hard to avoid around the holidays, Mirgain said, but there are ways to make it a little easier.

鈥淐ertainly this year, I think with the recent election, there鈥檚 a lot of divisiveness and discord, and you鈥檙e probably having to interact with family members that have really opposing beliefs,鈥 she said. 鈥淭hat can bring up strong emotions.鈥

Think about the boundaries you want to set: What kind of contact do you want to have with your family and how long are you prepared to be around them?

It鈥檚 also important to give yourself permission to exit the event 鈥 and have some strategies in place, she said. For example, if you need some space, go on a walk or run some errands.

And if stressful conversations come up, have some language ready to go to .

鈥淵ou could say, 鈥楪osh, thanks for asking, but I don鈥檛 talk politics over the holidays,鈥欌 Mirgain suggested.

If you have grief or are lonely, connect with others

The holidays can be difficult for people who are grieving or don鈥檛 have anyone nearby with whom to celebrate.

鈥淟oneliness and isolation can feel exacerbated during the holiday season when you look around and it seems like everyone鈥檚 getting together and you don鈥檛 have plans, or you鈥檙e not looking forward to your plans,鈥 Mirgain said.

Find ways to connect with people if that鈥檚 something you鈥檙e craving, like scheduling calls with people across the country or volunteering in your community.

鈥淭here鈥檚 so much opportunity to give back during this time, and I think generosity is one of the best things we can do for our own well-being,鈥 she said.

And if you鈥檙e grieving the death of someone close to you, the holidays can be the perfect time to reflect on that person's legacy, said Dr. Ellen Lee, a geriatric psychiatrist at UC San Diego Health.

"Try to honor that person by visiting their grave site or doing something they really loved to do, and then find people to share those memories with,鈥 Lee said. She also advises people not to tamp down feelings but let yourself grieve.

If money is making you anxious, reach out

Gifts, dinners, decorations 鈥 it鈥檚 all a lot to keep track of around this time of year, and it鈥檚 easy to feel overwhelmed. Those extra expenses and get-togethers can put more stress on your mental health.

For milder symptoms of depression, anxiety or mood issues, lean on tried-and-true methods of self-care, experts said, such as spending time doing something you love or watching a movie.

But it's important to reach out for help if you start to feel or intensifying symptoms that impair your ability to function. Early intervention can keep them from intensifying, Mirgain said, adding that if you have suicidal thoughts, reach out to your provider. You can also call or text 988 or chat at 988Lifeline.org.

If you are overwhelmed, set realistic expectations

Remember, your holidays don鈥檛 have to be a Hallmark movie. Give yourself permission to do it differently this year, Lee said.

鈥淲e have so many goals, so many targets,鈥 she said. 鈥淕etting all the gifts, decorating the house perfectly 鈥 sometimes it鈥檚 helpful to sort of focus on the most important part of it.鈥

That can look different depending on who you are: The most important part may be spending time with people you don鈥檛 get to see often, or having a nice meal with your favorite foods.

Lee emphasized that it is fine to have a low-key celebration.

鈥淚 ask people, 鈥榃hat鈥檚 the best part of the holiday?鈥" she said, "It鈥檚 not usually about the decorations or all these extra things that we all spend a lot of time worrying about.鈥

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The Associated Press Health and Science Department receives support from the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation. The AP is solely responsible for all content.

Devna Bose, The Associated Press

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