Many kids get their first phone as a gift. In fact, according to a , 59.1% of participants (kids ages 4-18) reported getting their first cellphone simply because they asked for one. During the holiday season, asks for big-ticket items such as cellphones aren't uncommon.
From the time kids understand what cellphones are and all their fun uses, they beg for one of their own—but this commitment requires careful consideration by parents before handing over such a big responsibility.
So, how do parents know their child is ready for their first phone? analyzed cellphone ownership rates among children and gathered tips from child development experts for determining cellphone readiness.
How many kids actually have their own phones?
The first step in assessing cellphone readiness is understanding the current landscape. A 2023 Pew Research Center survey showed and this use often starts at a very young age. Another Pew survey in 2020 found that, although younger kids don't typically own their own devices, in some capacity.
As kids grow older, cellphones only become more prevalent. According to Common Sense Media, , increasing from 24% to 43% among 8- to 12-year-olds and from 67% to 88% among 13- to 18-year-olds.
Although the COVID-19 pandemic accelerated this growth, the increasingly diverse uses of mobile phones encourage children of all ages to want one of their own. Kids use cellphones for entertainment by browsing websites, watching videos on YouTube, and playing mobile games. Phones are also a key means of communicating with peers, whether through texting and video chats or social media apps like Instagram and TikTok. People also use cellphones for educational activities like reading. In 2021, Common Sense Media reported that kids aged 8 to 18 spent an average of over 30 minutes per day reading for fun, including e-books and online articles easily accessed on smartphones.
With cellphone use all but inevitable in this day and time, parents must carefully consider the possible negative effects. Many studies have shown that prolonged screen time during childhood may affect development and have links to health issues, including , , . These concerns are understandable, given that a Stanford Medicine study published in 2022 revealed the average kid gets their . Daily screen time also tends to increase with age. For example, teenagers in 2021 spent three hours more on screens than tweens, averaging over 8.5 hours per day, according to Common Sense Media.
The impact on youth mental health has also been closely examined. A 2020 review of previous research suggests a link between smartphone use and like self-harm and suicide risk. However, the same Stanford Medicine study mentioned above followed more than 250 children for five years and showed no correlation between cellphone ownership—or the age at which a child gets their first phone—and issues like depression or sleep patterns.
To prevent these potentially harmful effects, countries have set various guidelines over the years, including recommended limits on the frequency and duration of use. However, a lack of evidence to support the efficacy of screen time limits led the American Academy of Pediatrics to update its guidelines in 2016. They now focus on the appropriateness and quality of the content kids are accessing rather than a specific amount of time.
Is your child ready for their own phone?
Giving a child their first cellphone opens the gates to the internet, social media, and more, but understanding what research and experts suggest can help parents plan for this milestone and feel confident in their decision.
With over 15 years of experience working with children and families, clinical social worker Aethena Enzer-Mahler has many tips on what parents should consider before handing over a phone to kids.
Because a child's brain development continues well into their 20s—including key areas like the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for decision-making—Enzer-Mahler told Stacker a child's developmental age is just as important to consider as their chronological age. To ensure a child is responsible enough to own a phone, she encourages parents to consider questions like the following: "Typically, can the child keep track of their things, would they be able to remember to keep their cellphone charged, keep track of it and keep it safe during the school day, as well as generally take care of it?"
Jenny Radesky—an assistant professor at the University of Michigan Medical School whose research focuses on mobile technology, child development, and parenting—recommends similar questions in a . She finds it helpful to assess factors including: "Does your child have a strong sense of responsibility and impulse control, or do they tend to act before thinking? Do they need your help with making good decisions, or do you trust their judgment when they are unsupervised?"
After considering basic responsibility, discuss how the child plans to use their phone and if they are ready for the implications of this use. Do they want to make calls to parents and friends, or are they also seeking increased access to the internet and social media? According to Radesky, kids aren't always ready to handle the issues that may arise with having a phone: "Some teens have actually said they regret getting a smartphone early. These kids didn't realize they would have so many new distractions or social drama in their lives."
Along these lines, Enzer-Mahler warns that "when we check our phones, no matter our age, we get a little dopamine boost, which is part of how people become so easily attached." Dopamine is a powerful hormone involved in mood regulation. Because the teenage brain has more dopamine receptors, this age group is more sensitive to the positive and negative emotions accompanying peer interactions via cellphones.
Enzer-Mahler says to "imagine your child is waiting to hear from friends on their cellphone and then gets a notification. The notification creates a sense of pleasure and excitement. But what if the notification is that the friends are hanging out without you?" Mental health and resilience can vary, so some kids may handle these situations better than others, indicating varying levels of cellphone readiness.
Like most aspects of child-rearing, it is also imperative to consider the relationship between parent and child. Solid foundations of trust and open communication go a long way in creating a positive experience around a kid's first phone. "The more a child is willing to have an open dialogue with their parents about cellphone use, and expectations, the better the whole process will go," Enzer-Mahler said.
Keeping kids safe in the digital era
Once the decision has been made, how can parents keep an eye on their child's cellphone use to promote safe and responsible phone ownership?
According to Enzer-Mahler, a little work on the front end can have big payoffs. "To begin, it's always good to set healthy boundaries, especially around the quantity of time on the phone and making sure that phones are not kept in a child's bedroom." Talking openly about how the phone will be used and what online safety looks like is also critical, and should be done in conjunction with the child to create plans that both parties buy into.
Equally important, according to Radesky, is establishing time to check in and discuss experiences kids might be facing with their newfound phone use. This can be as simple as setting a regular time to touch base each week or having the child share when they start using new apps and games. "Often concerns about inappropriate behavior or bullying or even threats can originate online," Enzer-Mahler said, "so it's valuable that a parent be able to look at that and talk about it with their child."
In addition to ongoing open communication, Radesky stresses parents should "make the effort to know what kinds of features there are to support safe and positive media use. These may include parental controls, settings, filters, timers, and other digital wellness tools available on devices and apps." Apple Screen Time and Google Family Link are apps that allow parents to set daily limits on use and control what content is accessible to their children. Qustodio offers enhanced features, including the ability to monitor calls and texts. Starting with such controls in place is a good idea; restrictions can be eased over time as the child demonstrates responsible phone use. Many parents—half of those surveyed in the 2023 Pew Research Center study—also look through their child's phone.
Perhaps the most effective way parents can ensure phone safety, according to Enzer-Mahler, is by modeling healthy phone use and boundaries. Parents can teach kids what responsible cellphone use looks like by taking simple steps such as giving children attention when they seek it, putting phones aside during family time, or not checking messages during conversations. As Radesky cautions, "Remember that kids learn as much from watching us as they do from our well-intended lectures! If you look at your phone while driving or during meals, they are likely to do the same."
Story editing by Carren Jao. Additional editing by Kelly Glass. Copy editing by Kristen Wegrzyn.
originally appeared on and was produced and distributed in partnership with Stacker Studio.
