The holiday season is a wonderful time, but it can be fraught with worry if children are expecting more than parents or caregivers can 鈥� or want 鈥� to give.
Left unchecked, Christmas wish lists can run wild, leaving pressurized parents feeling stressed over how they鈥檒l have time or money to meet the demands. Setting a few ground rules 鈥� though perhaps difficult at first 鈥� may help in the long run.
Lisa McIntosh, a child care resource and referral consultant in Squamish, has more than 20 years鈥� experience working with children and also has two of her own. She believes starting good habits young pays dividends in the future. 鈥淭he rule for my kids, because this is how I grew up, was there are so many children in the world that Santa has the ability to bring only one gift to every child.鈥�
She encouraged her children to ask for just one thing, something they would really love. 鈥淣ow they鈥檙e 12 years and 15 years. It鈥檚 become known that there鈥檚 just one special gift and a stocking.鈥�
Kerston Beattie, a mother, grandmother and the owner of Fiddleheads Childcare, does the same. 鈥淚 have always told my children that Santa only brings one thing. So when you鈥檙e writing a letter鈥� include only the things you really want, because he鈥檚 only going to pick one.鈥�
McIntosh also suggests something she heard just this year: 鈥溾�楽omething I want, something I need, something I wear and something I read鈥� 鈥� it鈥檚 a great little catchphrase that would help guide children鈥檚 wish lists or make them think about what they ask for.鈥� It also supports literacy, one of McIntosh鈥檚 passions.
Fiona Miller, a mother of two, adopts something similar. 鈥淣ormally we just have something to wear, a game and some books,鈥� she says. 鈥淏ecause we鈥檝e never gone completely overboard, they haven鈥檛 got to the stage where they鈥檙e demanding anything.鈥�
Kurumi Ichike, also a mother, says, 鈥淚f the kids want multiple stuff, I鈥檒l probably just pick the best one. If they fuss I鈥檒l tell them Santa only has one of each gift and has to share them out. If you鈥檙e lucky and nobody else wants your second best one, you might get that one.鈥�
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Choosing the 鈥榬ight鈥� experiences
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Taking part in fun, family experiences extends the magic for longer, and helps children understand there鈥檚 more to Christmas than just gifts. In Squamish there鈥檚 enough to fill every day with something different this season, but be careful not to get caught up in the frenzy of magical-Christmas-activity-overload, especially with little ones, says McIntosh. Instead of cramming in back-to-back activities (which can be over-whelming for some), McIntosh suggests people pay attention to how much each child can handle developmentally.
鈥淜now that all that stimulation is going to backfire on you,鈥� she cautions. 鈥淭hen there鈥檚 disappointment and stress for families. Just choose wisely and appropriately for what you want your children to experience.鈥�
Slowing down your time and your energy, she suggests, is one of the greatest gifts this Christmas. 鈥淚t鈥檚 about time and giving time, and doing what鈥檚 personally important to you or what you love to do.鈥�
Families, especially mothers, can feel pressure to give their children all the experiences possible, she says. 鈥淚f they miss an opportunity, they feel their child is affected for life. From my experience, kids get it if it鈥檚 explained to them. I think parents have to have the ability or strength to just be honest and say, 鈥楾his isn鈥檛 something we鈥檙e going to do because it鈥檚 not important to us, and it鈥檚 not something that I think we have to do just because everyone else is doing it.鈥欌��
Instead, do what feels right for you and your family. 鈥淚f you love to bake, then share that Christmas recipe with your children,鈥� she suggests. 鈥淚 only make butter tarts at Christmas and it鈥檚 just become a thing. My kids are like, 鈥業t鈥檚 Christmas! Mom鈥檚 got the butter tarts out!鈥欌��
Fun things families can do together in Squamish include eagle watching, hiking, hunting for greenery for homemade decorations, visiting friends and family, baking, putting up the tree, dancing to Christmas music, playing family games, making gifts for others, visiting Christmas light displays and having fun in the snow.
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Instill the joy of giving
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Christmas can provide a great opportunity to introduce selflessness to children.
鈥淢y kids and I have always packed for Community Christmas Care,鈥� says McIntosh. 鈥淚t鈥檚 just that recognition of, wow, we鈥檙e lucky. Other people in the community need help and we can help them. It doesn鈥檛 cost anything.鈥�
Last year she also introduced random acts of kindness. While out with her family she noticed a particularly cold-looking Salvation Army bell ringer. 鈥淢y son said 鈥榃e should get her hot chocolate,鈥� so we went to Tim Hortons, got a dozen hot chocolates and just drove around looking for the ringers and handed them hot chocolate.鈥�
Opportunities like that, she believes, decrease that tangible want of consumerism.
Local mother Lisa Park takes part in 鈥榚lfing鈥� among her neighbours. Anonymous baskets of goodies are left on doorsteps and recipients are encouraged to spread the kindness by making baskets of their own for others.
Jolene Austin, from Austin Childcare, explains how her family helps local people in need. 鈥淲e encourage them to give back to the community and understand that there are others who don鈥檛 have as much as they do. We also give lots to the food bank.鈥�
Other ideas include visiting an elderly neighbor together, volunteering for a local charity, babysitting for a friend, or just having the children help around the house in preparation for Christmas.
Christmas has an expensive reputation, but before you get caught up in gift-giving madness, just remember, the most valuable currency is time. It鈥檚 how you spend it that matters.
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Other suggestions
路听听听听听听 Consider buying (and hiding away) Christmas presents throughout the year, to minimize the big spending hit in December
路听听听听听听 Lisa Parks encourages re-gifting to your really little ones. 鈥淚鈥檒l hide something he hasn鈥檛 seen in a while and then wrap it up and let him open it in the morning.鈥�
路听听听听听听 If your child would like a gift from you that you cannot afford, you could ask him or her to save for it and pay half of the cost.
路听听听听听听 Try making rather than buying gifts. Thanks to social media and the Internet, there鈥檚 no shortage of ideas. Plus it鈥檚 something you can do as a family.
路听听听听听听 If you鈥檇 like to give experiences rather than gifts, try creating a coupon book for the family. Each page is a different promise of something you鈥檒l do together, from ice skating, to toasting marshmallows, or watching Frozen while curled up in front of the fire.
