Don't be Afraid of the DarkDirector: Troy Nixey
Cast: Katie Holmes, Guy Pearce, Bailee Madison
Rated: 14A
Running time: 99 minutes
"Caveat emptor" loosely translates to "buyer beware," and that phrase should always be screaming in your face when you read that any movie is someone's presentation. Such is this latest horror remake that spouts Guillermo Del Toro's (Pan's Labyrinth) name proudly on everything. Yet, when it comes right down to it, he merely co-wrote a script revision and has a producer credit. Sadly, when the final credits roll, you could feel his touch but certainly not enough to warrant his name attached to the title.
The story begins in a creepy old house with some guy gone bonkers, talking to voices and doing quite violent things in a basement. Flash a few years and whaddya know, Katie Holmes and Guy Pearce have sunk their life savings into restoring that creepy house to its original splendor. All of a sudden, the very capable Bailee Madison steps in as Guy's nine-year-old daughter who has been dumped by her mom. Pretty soon she's exploring and talking to the voices and you just know it's going to be trouble.
It's a pretty paint-by-numbers haunted house flick as we soon find out that the voices are actually 眉ber violent demonic tooth fairies. Ha, you'd think that would make for a better film, right? Sadly, no. It makes for a rather tired exercise. The worst part is that it doesn't take long for you to want these people dead for doing such stupid things. How stupid? Monsters-afraid-of-the-dark-yet-no-one-turns-on-a-light stupid.
The chances of you seeing this film are probably pretty slim and that's a good thing. The worst part is how the Del Toro name has been tarnished and I look forward to him making things better by attaching his name to a movie that doesn't suck.
