Battle: Los Angeles
Director: Jonathan Liebesman
Cast: Aaron Eckhart, Ramon Rodriguez, Bridget Moynahan
Rated: PG-13
Running time: 116 minutes
This has been a great year. For those keeping track, I have had nothing but glowing film reviews for all of 2011. Yeah, I know - weird, eh? But as winter turns to spring, so must Hollywood release crap to fertilize theatres. Yes, that's right, I saw Battle: Los Angeles.
You know the expression - you can only go so wrong? Well, this is how wrong they were talking about. It's pretty much a crapola fest from the front to the back.
The plot follows an alien invasion playbook right to the last stereotypical detail. We start with the Marine sergeant who is going to retire after "one more duty" because his last tour didn't end so well. Then there's the young virgin, the guy who's getting married, a few token black soldiers, a Hispanic woman and oh, who cares? It's just a bunch of ridiculous stereotypes. Seriously, it's not long before you are praying these characters will die because maybe then they'd have some depth instead of SHOUTING EVERY LINE. I'm not overemphasizing the shouting. They're shouting mostly because aliens are killing everyone and they're not given much more to work with than that.
Partway through, you may feel nauseous - although there is a good chance it's from the horribly utilized shaky hand camera. It could also be the sickening guilt gut feeling that comes when you realize this is the only life you will live and you're spending prime time watching this absolute abomination.
