Story:
Jonah Hex is not so much a story as it is a whole bunch of ridiculous footage slapped together with no discernable flow.
Sure this odd mix can be a good thing for some films, but it surely is not with this one.
There are several elements that could theoretically make for an interesting movie. The main character played by Josh Brolin has a horse with Gatling guns attached to the saddle.
He can talk to the dead like that great show Pushing Daisies. He's a lawless bounty hunter with a horrific scar on his face and revenge in his heart.
Then there's the villain John Malkovich who is set on destroying America by blowing up the country with a super weapon on the first Fourth of July. Finally you have Megan Fox who is a feisty prostitute.
Can you see how these things could possibly work together? Well not here - no sir, they do not.
In fact many of those things are used so briefly and with no real value to the main plot that you wonder why they bothered.
For instance you could cut out every instance of Megan Fox and not notice anything gone. Except of course for her sparkling cleavage and her freakishly small waist in a corset you'd think is cutting her in half.
Perhaps most baffling are the dream sequences (one of which is repeated three times).
The red desert scene however is truly bizarre in that it's basically a fight scene that is shown to flash back during other fight scenes. Honestly, it looks like the final film came in at 60 minutes and they needed another 20 of fluff so they just threw in whatever was left on the floor and looped it enough to make this mess.
The quality of this film can pretty much be summed up by a moviegoer's comment while leaving the film: "How can a movie with so many explosions and so much fighting be so boring?"
How indeed.
