I had quite a spicy bit of bile to throw in the direction of The Expendables when six words stopped me in my tracks. What six words can instantly neuter any serious critique of a film? Director, lead actor, writer, Sylvester Stallone.
Bad acting, horrible dialogue and the same action scenes we've been watching for 30 years, yup - it's all here.
The plot - yeah right, like you give two licks about the plot. You just want to know if this ridiculously action-star-studded cast actually worked or if they just grabbed their cash and bolted.
Well, if you paid money for the combined star power to make the best action movie ever, you've been robbed.
But if it's enough just to see Jet Li, Mickey Rourke, Bruce Willis, Randy Couture, Steve Austin, Eric Roberts, Terry Crews, Gary Daniels and heck, even Dolph Lundgren shoot and say stupid things, your money will be well spent.
Even the governor of California showed up for a quick and uncomfortable Planet Hollywood reunion.
There is something in this film that should not be allowed, however.
During Mickey Rourke's excruciating monologue, you'll notice he is in a teal tint and Stallone is in orange.
Apparently this is a big thing now since Avatar (not to mention Iron Man 2).
These two tints are being overused by lazy idiots as a cheap way of making the image "pop."
Well Hollywood, it's annoying so you should immediately put this on your list of "Things I said you should stop doing."
Please and thank you.
